Archive for the ‘Mike’s Blog’ Category

Strong Fathers as Strong Teachers

Part 2:Schools and Fathers: Same Goals, Different Roles

According to the U.S. Department of Education’s National Center for Educational Statistics, there are 14,559 public school districts representing more than 94,000 school campuses in our country. Those public schools represent approximately 48 million students enrolled in elementary and secondary cam- puses. Those 48 million students are from 25.8 million married-couple families, eight million single-mother families, and 1.9 million single-father families.1 Even though they may approach it differently, these schools and families are both in the business of helping the same 48 million children.

Fathers and schools play incredibly similar roles in the lives of children. Both care for children and are interested in their becoming independent and successful in the adult world. Fathers and schools both spend an incredible amount of time working to prepare children to possess the skills necessary to be successful. When they do their best work, both fathers and schools are involved in the same endeavor from different angles but working for the same outcomes. Read the rest of this entry »

Strong Fathers as Strong Teachers:

Part 1-Supporting and Strengthening a Child’s Education

The scene is very familiar. Most of us have been in a public school cafeteria with white walls, tile floors, and drab, laminate-covered tables. These cafeterias usually have windows, are flooded with fluorescent lights, and, as if by federal law, have exposed stainless steel somewhere close to the kitchen. On one particular morning, one of these familiar cafeterias held more than 100 fathers and their children. There were book-laden backpacks everywhere, and most of those in attendance were in some stage of donut, juice, or coffee consumption. Read the rest of this entry »

Kids and Dads Need to Leap Into Play.

One of my many regrets as my children grow older is that I never played enough with them. Even if I played with them every waking moment, as we move to other dad-kid activities, I begin to miss just all out kids play. Along with my personal grieving over certain types of play, I have also begin to grieve the loss of play for so many kids in our culture. As schools cut recess time for more classroom instruction and lawyers and frantic parents cut play time for all of its inherent dangers, I grieve the loss of play among our children and families.

I do not believe that play is only important for kids to develop it is also important for dads to develop their relationship with their kids. One of the main tenets we promote at Strong Fathers-Strong Families in our workshops and presentations is that dads TEACH through play. If Moms and Lawyers, and Dads who don’t know any better limit play then it limits a dad’s influence. Read the rest of this entry »

Wrestle Already!

Yesterday, my wife my told me that my boys need to wrestle. They are not 2 and 7, they are 14 and 19. She knew I was uptight and my sons were feeling it. I resisted but my sons did not. StrongCollegeKid tried to take on the old man and I set out to hurt him. I did, and we both felt better. I didn’t maim him. Just gave him some physical engagement, let him know that I am just an uptight old man and do not disapprove of him or his little brother. I am just cranky and I still got it. I used the hair pull, the finger poke to the ribs, and a fat thumb to the back of the jaw. They all can bring a big nineteen old year old to his knees. Oh, yeah, there was a leg lock and a head lock too. Nobody won anything except my kid knew enough to know that I would risk a little for him, he had what it took to cause the old man some pain, and he and I were the same now as we were when he was my only kid. Now he has a full college schedule, and I have a full schedule of paying for college. But from time to time, we get to wrestle a little bit and re-connect. One of these days we will no longer wrestle but we will try to outwork the other, out-fish the other, or out-give one another. The battle is eternal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Happy New Year(s)!

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Every New Year’s Eve I celebrate a wedding anniversary. On some years my wife celebrates being married to me, some years she is not so celebratory. I am pretty sure that some years have been the equivalent to celebrating a year of canker sores for her. But for this year, she found reason to celebrate. It has been two decades and two years of marriage for us and I am a lucky man.

It hit me today, (I think from a Twitter post from @Genuine) that we were, in fact,  entering a new decade. I had not thought about that at all. I remember watching the New Year festivities on television in 2000 and that memory is one way that I remember where I was in at the beginning of the new decade/millenium. Read the rest of this entry »

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…..

As our family prepares for Christmas, I sit in an office that needs some attention as my beautiful wife and my two teen sons and one of their good friends all sleep into the morning. Christmas break means sleep for teachers and teenagers.

I am not different than most in that I begin to reflect on the year behind me and the year approaching and as a dad, it makes me think of several different things. Our business was good and we saw good things happen. Due to budget cuts in schools we are in fewer schools but I have regained some time with my family and a little more sanity. I have a son in college and a son in high school. No more little ones, not even 8th grade little ones. They are growing (and eating). We have seen tremendous change this year with a child that left the nest, a child making the transition into high school and a mom who went from teaching 1st grade to 8th grade (the quantum leap of education). As well, we have needed to step up and support our family who now has a member who is incarcerated. A mom who will spend the next two Christmas days not being able to see her children open gifts. Read the rest of this entry »

Fathers that can Fix It.

As the father of two boys I never did much sewing on toys. However, I have hot glued wheels back onto axles, popped a lot of arms and legs back into superhero sockets, and tried to fix my share of electronics. Now that I have two teenage boys I find myself fixing more computer problems, helping with video projects, and talking more about girls and peer pressure than anything. I turned 44 this week (I know, I really look like I am 58) and I still have need of my father fixing things from time to time. It is our job, it is our responsibility, and I will always think of it as a privilege.

Here is a great example from our friends over at www.fatherhood.gov.

Besides “fixing” it is our hope that all Strong Fathers out there have fun with “some assembly required” this Christmas Season.

Strong Fathers MUST have the talk.

We at Strong Fathers cannot encourage you enough to have the “talk” with your kids. Thanks to Asylum for this IMPORTANT message for fathers and families.

Do not go another day without this important discussion

Urban Meyer is NO HERO

Coach Urban Meyer announced Wednesday that he was resigning from his job as the head coach of the Florida University football teaml. (Can you retire in your 40’s? Can you NOT retire when you make 4 million a year?) Meyer stated that it was now time for him to spend more time with his family.  Based on Meyer’s character, his past winning record, and a lack of scandal. It looks like he really is quitting his 24/7 job to spend more time with his family. So many times, “I need to spend more time with my family.” usually means “They won’t let me work here anymore.” but by all accounts Coach Meyer is making a good change for a good reason.

There was not much hoopla around his decision other than the news story itself and then the story about what it means for the Florida football program. What I was afraid of (and still am) is that folks are going to try and make Meyer a hero for deciding to spend more time with his kids and wife. It seems that every time a father does something that is actually fatherly then we want to celebrate it. Meyer is no hero. There is nothing heroic about never seeing your child participate in their high school sport of choice. There is nothing heroic about missing your child’s first couple of years in collegiate sports. Work is important, four million is hard to pass up, but there is nothing heroic about deciding to do something right after it is too late to make it right.

Read the rest of this entry »

Check In Questions for this week.

Questions from this week’s Check In Calendar:

PLEASE let us know what you think. Good or Bad, Nice or Not.

family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx

http://www.pbs.org/parents/experts/archive/2009/09/reaping-the-many-benefits-of-f.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-petrie/family-dinners-bullying_b_786330.html